It is the Eve of Your Adoption Little Ones and there is so much running through my mind.... We had said yes and no so many times, and those seemed like possibilities, but when I heard about you, I knew you were mine. I was on a business trip in Illinois. I saw your pictures while on a Hertz shuttle traveling to pick up my rental car. That night, I picked out a big rug checker set for my son and a little black dress with white polka dots for my daughter. A few weeks later, they told us that they selected someone else to be your mommy. I didn't understand, you were supposed to be mine. A week later, we got the call. I KNEW IT! The meetings and the the first month were a blur of sickness, transition, and overwhelming emotions for everyone. How was I supposed to balance being a mom, wife, and working a job that required travel? But we survived and on the eve of this important event, there is so much I want to say to you...
You are wanted, you are special, and we chose you. God knew you were the missing puzzle pieces in our family, but we chose YOU because you are special and worthy of love. We wanted to grow our family in this way not for reasons of infertility, but because we desired to say to you, "We Choose You." My son, your kind and generous heart, unique view on life, and perseverance despite repeated rejection and abuse is something I admire. You were told to go live in another home with new adults that would be able to "take care of you," just like you were told so many times before. Why would we be different? Would you like it here? Will these people hurt me like so many others before? When can I go back to my family? I am sure these questions and many more poured through your little mind. Over these past 7 months, you have tested our patience and wills too many times to count. But there has been SO much more than that. Thank you for the gift of being able to lead you into a relationship with Christ. It is a day I will never forget and thank you for the privilege of being able to hear your sweet, simple prayers every day. You have been brave and revealed pain at depths I will never understand. On the eve of your adoption, I want you to know that I understand where your little heart wants to live, but there is room in your heart for her and for me. I can share. You can trust me with your pain and trust that I will NEVER cause you that pain.
My daughter, on the eve of your adoption, I think about the challenges you have overcome in your short life. During our first adoption training class, we had to draw our "ideal" child. The most important quality I listed was "Fighter". I got a lot of looks and questions for that, but now I understand. YOU are my fighter. To overcome the cognitive and physical delays you were challenged with in such a short period of time, you had to be a fighter. Your fascination with wearing shoes on your hands, puppies, swimming, and meatballs do not allow me to stress about anything within 10 minutes of being around you! Your strong will and determination, paired with the sweetest spirit and silly sense of humor light up my life daily.
On the eve of your adoptions, I know that though you did not grow in my belly, you grew in my heart and there are no children I could bear that would be more like John and I. Our sweet son, you are sensitive and emotional, just like John. Beautiful Daughter, you are opinionated and have the strongest will, just like me. I know that there will be challenges with our likenesses, but I look forward to the day when you are my best friends.
On the eve of your adoptions, I question my ability to guide and lead you through your lives. I pray that as you grow older and the questions intensify, that God gives me the answers that your hearts desire in order for you to find peace with your pasts. I pray that I can be a spiritual example for you and teach you not only how to find your God-given purposes, but how to love others in the process. I pray that your futures are bright, that you find joy in your marriages, in your children, and your relationships with Jesus.
On the eve of your adoptions, I promise that I will protect you from everything that I can. I promise that I will teach you all that I know. I promise that I will love you with every fiber of my being. I promise that no matter how you feel about yourself, I will be there to pick you up and point you to Jesus. On the eve of your adoptions, my promise is forever. Just like I sing to you every night, "I Choose You."I CHOOSE YOU
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Thursday, April 2, 2015
We are matched!! WHAT?!
First off, I want to say thank you to everyone who has been praying for us throughout this journey. It has definitely been a huge help! Now, let's dive into the good stuff! This post will revolve a lot around WHAT?! since that is the general feeling of awe and wonder in God and His miraculous timing. We heard that the social workers had a matching meeting for the younger sibling set (Girl 9 mos, Boy 5 yrs) and we were the #2 family on the list. Bummed, but keeping the faith of the "right kids at the right time," we continued on with work and life as usual. A few weeks ago, The Jester and I received an email from Superhero (our social worker's code name), letting us know that the other family decided not to go forward and we were officially "matched" with the kids if we wanted to be!
The exact same night, we received a call from our realtor with an offer on our home. God is good! I had a feeling this would all happen around the same time! Not to mention, The Jester got his contract signed that day as well (phew!). Over the next few days, emails between all the social workers went back and forth giving us more information and setting the date for the "full disclosure meeting." We let them know that we are moving, but they were okay with it and wanted to proceed with the meeting. We figured the children moving in would need to be timed with our relocation.
Over the weekend, we were asked to make a scrapbook of our life and what the children should expect in their new life with us. The social worker or current family will read it to the boy in anticipation of our first visit, so we are not as new and scary as he might imagine. The Jester and I spent WAYYYY too much time and money in Michael's buying all of the supplies for what was described as "the best scrapbook she has ever seen," by the Superhero. BOOM!
Definition of Full Disclosure Meeting:
A gathering between social workers and prospective adoptive parents where they give you the (known) details of the children, their case, and basically scare the poo out of you.
Our meeting was this past Monday and the process was very interesting. We met Superhero outside, watched Cinderella for a few minutes in the waiting room, then moved into a visitation room to meet the social worker. The children's social worker began the meeting by jumping into the details of why placements have not worked out, why their current adoptive home is not working out, and things we should be aware of before fully committing to taking the children in. While the backgrounds were a little more severe than we were aware of, the delays and challenges were just as we had been told by Superhero, and neither of us were shaken by what we were told. We asked several questions and discussed visitation. It was during this meeting that we received the biggest shock..... because of an impending court date, they would like the children to move in with us ASAP, despite our move. WHAT???!!! We were asked to go home and think about it and let her know by the end of the week. We walked outside and it was no question for us, we had already thought and prayed about it.
Our first visit is on Monday morning at the current foster family's home!! We are so very excited and nervous at the same time! We will most likely visit daily, as the anticipated move-in date is NEXT FRIDAY!!! Again, WHAT?!
7 years ago, we made a commitment to adopt 2 beautiful, loyal fur babies. Under no circumstances will be get rid of our dogs, so one of the visits next week will be having them meet the children to make sure they will all get along. Our dogs have never met children before, so we are not sure how they will react, especially since they are very skiddish around people (they are rescues). This is the biggest part of the entire process for us, and it may turn out that we will not be able to go through with the match, I anticipate that visit will be next Wednesday, so PLEASE PLEASE pray that our pups will understand that these are littles and not to jump on them or scare them. This process has been a journey of faith and obedience, and this is just another example of that. Because they are so nervous, it makes me nervous, but we feel that we are being led to go on this journey, so He will find a way to make it happen if thats His will. Also for this reason, I cannot bring myself to purchase anything until that visit goes well... which will leave like 1.5 days to get everything we need when it goes well.....(did you like my subtle slip to convince myself to stop panicking?)
When the children move in, we will be packing and getting ready for our move to.... not sure where yet..... since we have not found a location or even focused on one city to move to. We had our home inspection this past Tuesday and our appraisal is today, which is why we have the brakes on signing a lease elsewhere.
Overall, this entire journey is only survivable when we rely 100% on Jesus and his plan for our lives.
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremian 29:11 (NLT)
Relying on Him for the appraisal to go well, to find somewhere to live, despite having 2 new small children in the home and 2 fur babies, to find all the "stuff" they will need, to make the meeting with the dogs go smoothly.... For relying on Him that the boy will adjust to being removed from a place where he is attached, and into another new home, for continuing to work throughout this process, and for our hearts to remain fully fixed on Jesus through the process.... NO. MATTER. WHAT.
Thank you again for the prayers, we would not survive without them!
The exact same night, we received a call from our realtor with an offer on our home. God is good! I had a feeling this would all happen around the same time! Not to mention, The Jester got his contract signed that day as well (phew!). Over the next few days, emails between all the social workers went back and forth giving us more information and setting the date for the "full disclosure meeting." We let them know that we are moving, but they were okay with it and wanted to proceed with the meeting. We figured the children moving in would need to be timed with our relocation.
Over the weekend, we were asked to make a scrapbook of our life and what the children should expect in their new life with us. The social worker or current family will read it to the boy in anticipation of our first visit, so we are not as new and scary as he might imagine. The Jester and I spent WAYYYY too much time and money in Michael's buying all of the supplies for what was described as "the best scrapbook she has ever seen," by the Superhero. BOOM!
Definition of Full Disclosure Meeting:
A gathering between social workers and prospective adoptive parents where they give you the (known) details of the children, their case, and basically scare the poo out of you.
Our meeting was this past Monday and the process was very interesting. We met Superhero outside, watched Cinderella for a few minutes in the waiting room, then moved into a visitation room to meet the social worker. The children's social worker began the meeting by jumping into the details of why placements have not worked out, why their current adoptive home is not working out, and things we should be aware of before fully committing to taking the children in. While the backgrounds were a little more severe than we were aware of, the delays and challenges were just as we had been told by Superhero, and neither of us were shaken by what we were told. We asked several questions and discussed visitation. It was during this meeting that we received the biggest shock..... because of an impending court date, they would like the children to move in with us ASAP, despite our move. WHAT???!!! We were asked to go home and think about it and let her know by the end of the week. We walked outside and it was no question for us, we had already thought and prayed about it.
Our first visit is on Monday morning at the current foster family's home!! We are so very excited and nervous at the same time! We will most likely visit daily, as the anticipated move-in date is NEXT FRIDAY!!! Again, WHAT?!
7 years ago, we made a commitment to adopt 2 beautiful, loyal fur babies. Under no circumstances will be get rid of our dogs, so one of the visits next week will be having them meet the children to make sure they will all get along. Our dogs have never met children before, so we are not sure how they will react, especially since they are very skiddish around people (they are rescues). This is the biggest part of the entire process for us, and it may turn out that we will not be able to go through with the match, I anticipate that visit will be next Wednesday, so PLEASE PLEASE pray that our pups will understand that these are littles and not to jump on them or scare them. This process has been a journey of faith and obedience, and this is just another example of that. Because they are so nervous, it makes me nervous, but we feel that we are being led to go on this journey, so He will find a way to make it happen if thats His will. Also for this reason, I cannot bring myself to purchase anything until that visit goes well... which will leave like 1.5 days to get everything we need when it goes well.....(did you like my subtle slip to convince myself to stop panicking?)
When the children move in, we will be packing and getting ready for our move to.... not sure where yet..... since we have not found a location or even focused on one city to move to. We had our home inspection this past Tuesday and our appraisal is today, which is why we have the brakes on signing a lease elsewhere.
Overall, this entire journey is only survivable when we rely 100% on Jesus and his plan for our lives.
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremian 29:11 (NLT)
Relying on Him for the appraisal to go well, to find somewhere to live, despite having 2 new small children in the home and 2 fur babies, to find all the "stuff" they will need, to make the meeting with the dogs go smoothly.... For relying on Him that the boy will adjust to being removed from a place where he is attached, and into another new home, for continuing to work throughout this process, and for our hearts to remain fully fixed on Jesus through the process.... NO. MATTER. WHAT.
Thank you again for the prayers, we would not survive without them!
Sunday, February 22, 2015
The Hard Part
It has been awhile since I have posted and there has been A LOT going on! Since that time, I have started a new job that requires some consistent travel and The Jester's job has toned down quite a bit for the time being. We put our house on the market at the beginning of January and we have had pretty steady foot traffic, but no offers yet. We are officially in the matching process and so far, this is the hard part! Basically, we get a call or email and need to decide somewhat quickly whether or not we are interested and want more information.
Right before Christmas, we received a call about a sibling set (1.5 yr old boy and 6 mos old girl) that was removed from the home and needed emergency placement right away. Now, we were told that we would have a few weeks notice since the children typically being placed for adoption would be coming from a foster home. This was a different case which the social worker thought would probably be moving towards adoption, so they decided to try fost-adopt placement right from the beginning. The Jester was at the airport getting on a plane for a business trip, so I called him and asked him what he thought. We decided to say yes and called our awesome social worker. We were one of two families interested (with the other family also a Kinship Center family). Since it was an emergency placement, the social worker chose the other family because they live closer to the birth family. While we were somewhat relieved since it was such short notice and we were not quite ready at home, we took it much harder than we thought.
In the last 3 weeks, we have received calls/emails about 8 children. As I mentioned before, we had to select "criteria" we were comfortable parenting from the very beginning. The first four children offered were outside of the criteria we felt comfortable with, including a newborn baby boy, so we decided not to get more information/accept those placements. Then, we were emailed a sibling set of two girls who were much older (6 and 9 years old). While this was definitely outside the 0-4 years old age range we specified, their limited information profiles were so sweet and touching. We prayed and slept on the decision and decided to submit our home study for consideration. The way the process typically works for this county is that they wait about a month for all interested families, then they sit down and have a meeting with the social workers to determine who is the best match for the girls. At that point, whoever is selected sits down and has a "full disclosure meeting" with the key players in the children's lives and we would get more of the details of their "situations". If we were still comfortable, we would move forward with meeting the girls and transitioning them to our home.
When we do take a placement, we are required to attend Care Support Group, which is where all the Kinship Center families who have children get together and hear a speaker or discuss challenges they are facing related to their children. The Jester and I attended last weekend since Sharon Roszia, an adoption expert was speaking on Birth Parent Forgiveness. It was eye opening to hear her point of view on the children's birth parent relationships and how we should approach them with the children. The most difficult part of that whole day was when I saw the sibling set that was not placed with us. The couple who they are placed with was in our training class and if we had chosen another couple, it would have been them. They are so great, which makes me feel so much better about not getting that placement. But then..... I saw the kids..... I didn't realize that not getting that placement was hard on me until that moment. It was all I could do not to cry then, but I reminded myself that we will get the right placement at the right time, and God is in control.
This week, I am in the frigid "city" of Marion, IL for work and during my shuttle ride to the rental car pickup location, we received an email from our awesome social worker (by the way, thats her official title in our home) asking if we were interested in submitting our home study for a sibling set of 2 (Girl- 9mos, Boy-5 years) who both have developmental delays. Before I even saw the email, The Jester said yes and we have our homestudy submitted! This is the same county as the 2 older girls, so the process is the same and we will not know more about either for several weeks.
So far, we have not purchased anything since it seems we are more open to ages and number of children than we previously listed. BUT.... I was in Cracker Barrel (first time ever by the way) and saw the CUTEST little bumble bee dresses. Soooooo, I may or may not have purchased the 2T Black and White polka dot dress on the top row all the way to the right of the picture below......
Prayer Requests:
-The matching process is HARD, so prayers for our emotions are greatly appreciated.
-Selling our house for the right price at the right time
-Work: The Jester's contracts should be coming through soon, and that my travel will die down a bit, especially when we get a placement.
-For our kids... whoever they may be, wherever they are.....
Right before Christmas, we received a call about a sibling set (1.5 yr old boy and 6 mos old girl) that was removed from the home and needed emergency placement right away. Now, we were told that we would have a few weeks notice since the children typically being placed for adoption would be coming from a foster home. This was a different case which the social worker thought would probably be moving towards adoption, so they decided to try fost-adopt placement right from the beginning. The Jester was at the airport getting on a plane for a business trip, so I called him and asked him what he thought. We decided to say yes and called our awesome social worker. We were one of two families interested (with the other family also a Kinship Center family). Since it was an emergency placement, the social worker chose the other family because they live closer to the birth family. While we were somewhat relieved since it was such short notice and we were not quite ready at home, we took it much harder than we thought.
In the last 3 weeks, we have received calls/emails about 8 children. As I mentioned before, we had to select "criteria" we were comfortable parenting from the very beginning. The first four children offered were outside of the criteria we felt comfortable with, including a newborn baby boy, so we decided not to get more information/accept those placements. Then, we were emailed a sibling set of two girls who were much older (6 and 9 years old). While this was definitely outside the 0-4 years old age range we specified, their limited information profiles were so sweet and touching. We prayed and slept on the decision and decided to submit our home study for consideration. The way the process typically works for this county is that they wait about a month for all interested families, then they sit down and have a meeting with the social workers to determine who is the best match for the girls. At that point, whoever is selected sits down and has a "full disclosure meeting" with the key players in the children's lives and we would get more of the details of their "situations". If we were still comfortable, we would move forward with meeting the girls and transitioning them to our home.
When we do take a placement, we are required to attend Care Support Group, which is where all the Kinship Center families who have children get together and hear a speaker or discuss challenges they are facing related to their children. The Jester and I attended last weekend since Sharon Roszia, an adoption expert was speaking on Birth Parent Forgiveness. It was eye opening to hear her point of view on the children's birth parent relationships and how we should approach them with the children. The most difficult part of that whole day was when I saw the sibling set that was not placed with us. The couple who they are placed with was in our training class and if we had chosen another couple, it would have been them. They are so great, which makes me feel so much better about not getting that placement. But then..... I saw the kids..... I didn't realize that not getting that placement was hard on me until that moment. It was all I could do not to cry then, but I reminded myself that we will get the right placement at the right time, and God is in control.
This week, I am in the frigid "city" of Marion, IL for work and during my shuttle ride to the rental car pickup location, we received an email from our awesome social worker (by the way, thats her official title in our home) asking if we were interested in submitting our home study for a sibling set of 2 (Girl- 9mos, Boy-5 years) who both have developmental delays. Before I even saw the email, The Jester said yes and we have our homestudy submitted! This is the same county as the 2 older girls, so the process is the same and we will not know more about either for several weeks.
So far, we have not purchased anything since it seems we are more open to ages and number of children than we previously listed. BUT.... I was in Cracker Barrel (first time ever by the way) and saw the CUTEST little bumble bee dresses. Soooooo, I may or may not have purchased the 2T Black and White polka dot dress on the top row all the way to the right of the picture below......
-The matching process is HARD, so prayers for our emotions are greatly appreciated.
-Selling our house for the right price at the right time
-Work: The Jester's contracts should be coming through soon, and that my travel will die down a bit, especially when we get a placement.
-For our kids... whoever they may be, wherever they are.....
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