THE INTERVIEW
We weren't quite sure what to expect for the interview, but we went into the office and our social worker and her intern were there. It seemed very informal, but she asked us to expand on some of the questions we answered in the paperwork. Some of the questions were what religion do we practice, how do we intend to discipline the child, are we open to visitation from relatives and siblings, what are behaviors we would accept, etc. We were a little caught off guard by the "what type of behaviors would you accept" question. I asked her to give us examples of typical behaviors for foster children and she said for a child 0-4 years old, the main behavioral issues are: lying, stealing, tantrums, and hoarding food (since they are often starved and neglected). Besides the hoarding of food, these seemed like typical child behaviors every parent would need to address. What was surprising was that she said she had to ask because many people come in expecting a perfect child and they need to weed out those couples. Strange right? Of course these are not perfect children... is there such a thing? She liked our answers and felt we were a good fit and told us we would receive another packet in the mail and to get ready for our training!
ChildSHARE DINNER
ChildShare is a non-profit, Christian organization who supports families going through the foster-adopt process. They provide encouragement, prayer, and guidance during the tough certification process and support once there is a placement. We met one of their recruiters, Stephen during our church's fost-adopt fair and have kept in touch ever since. He has been very supportive and assisted us in choosing a Foster Family Agency (Kinship). ChildShare hosts a dinner at their President's house for those in the cert process and we attended the dinner in Yorba Linda. We weren't expecting to have a great time, since when you put a bunch of random strangers in a room together, it typically ends up being awkward. Far from it! The staff shared stories about their own relationship with the fost-adopt process and answered our questions and addressed our fears. The President spent time in foster care himself and his story was just so inspirational! We left with a blanket for our little one and more hope for the journey we feel God has called us to take.
PACKET #3
The third packet was a DOOZY, let me tell you! It included tons of document requests: Original DMV records, copies of our marriage licenses, an emergency evacuation diagram of our home, and lots of other goodies. The most grueling part of the packet were the two questionnaires. Each of the sets of paperwork thus far have required us to outline our "preferences" for a child. Can I stop there? I think that is such a strange way to phrase that... almost as if we are picking out airline seats or a menu selection for a wedding... I guess there is not anything better to call it. Anyways.... Each packet has required us to delve a little deeper and be even more specific. This packet was VERY SPECIFIC on ages, gender or perceived gender, abilities, and backgrounds. Such a strange concept to have to ask yourself: Am I okay if the biological parents are Mother and Son? Father and Daughter? Step brother and Step Sister? Am I okay with a child who is born testing positive for ___________ (insert your drug name here)? At one point, it asked if we were okay with children who had explosive outbursts and The Jester mentioned, "Are they going to ask us if its alright if the kid has outbursts of using explosions? So many questions!" Well.... not two pages later and they ask if we are willing to accept a child who has a history of burning things on purpose. WOW.... its a shock to think about what some of these little ones have faced and overcome during their short lives. After that questionnaire, we each had an 18 page questionnaire to fill out asking about how we were raised, our relationships with our families, our marriage, how we deal with conflict, our religious views, etc. That part was not too difficult. The next part however, took a few days to get through. There was a section on family life and how things operate every day with children in the house. They specified that if we do not have children, we should write how we intend to deal with these things. Now, as a biological parent, you get to address things as they come, you know the child and have since birth. This is a different situation. We had to sit and talk about whether we felt it appropriate for children to sleep in our bed, until what age, are we strict, do we make exceptions, if so/when? We pretty much had to discuss our entire parenting philosophy right then and there. Thats not to say that we cannot change our minds as we become more experienced, but talk about hitting the ground at a sprint?!
Who can be so happy at a Police Station? July 8, 2014
Part of the packet required us to get fingerprinted. The Jester wanted to go to a Police station to ensure that our information was protected... no Mailboxes Etc. for us! I made 2 appointments for the next day. We showed up at 1:00pm to get fingerprinted and the woman informed us that since we each need to get for 2 different systems, that we needed 4 appointments. I asked if we could see if we could get everything done within our appointment times, and she said no. Since I was on my lunch break and The Jester works from home, we decided he would return another day. I went to the back and had my prints taken within 30 minutes. Hmmmm.... and why couldnt he have used the other appointment time for his? Bureaucracy at its best people!! Anyway, the grand total for each of us for fingerprints was $106!!! Holy frijoles that is a lot of paper!
MORE TO COME ON TRAINING IN A FEW!
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